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Starting afresh

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

Honestly I started this blog as a personal dairy where I’d share my thoughts, experiences and just life things in general. I’ve always loved reading personal blogs where a person writes about their day, their jobs and such stuff. Some people might find it boring and mundane but I for one love it.

It’s a form of escapism I guess where I am trying to forget my problems.

I suffer from anxiety and I wanted to share my stories here without the fear of being judged, but instead I became even more conscious about my blog posts. I kept on re-reading them again and again just to make sure I don’t make a fool out of myself, tried to make them as perfect as possible finding the perfect picture for the blog and never being satisfied with the title. All this became exhausting and it started to feel like my school assignments which I hated btw.

This is how I have been living my whole life. I take things way too seriously and never actually enjoy anything.

I love to write because I can express my self better in writing than oral communication, but because I was stressing about my posts being perfect, it just sucked the fun out of it. So I started procrastinating in order to avoid it. That made me feel even worse

#Millenniallifecrisis is my inspiration, she’s funny, sarcastic and intelligent. I love to read her posts, it’s so personal and her stories are really entertaining.

I’ve just started blogging I don’t know a lot about it. I want to write about things that make me happy and not force my self to write about certain topics just to get views.

One thing I can tell for sure is that I am going to keep this blog simple and raw. I am going to talk about how I survived my college years with general anxiety and social anxiety. Things I learned about people, friendships and lot more.

Also I am a sucker for good artwork be it movies, books or music videos, so you can expect one or two appreciation posts.

I hope you guys would want to be a part of this journey with me. If yes please do follow me and press that like button, its always nice to get some validation 🙂

Okay so that’s it for now, hope to see you for my next post, byeee ❤

One epic life

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist, that is all.
– Oscar wilde

Yeah that’s right, I am one of those ‘most people‘ Oscar Wilde is talking about. I live my dream life in my head but lack the courage to chase after it. Most of you must know at least one person who sticks with the safest route, avoids trying anything new, gets severe anxiety in unfamiliar situations, that’s exactly how I live or rather exist. I’ve never actually lived my life only survived it.

This monotonous routine often makes me depressed and question my existence.I lay in my bed at night regretting every opportunity I missed. Living with regret is the worst feeling ever and to make things worse my brain is constantly churning out ‘what if’ scenarios.

What if I hadn’t backed out from that trip? What if I had appeared for that competitive exam I spent a year preparing for? What if I hadn’t chickened out from a conversation with my crush?  (well that’s an embarrassing story for another time) Ughh! I don’t know what would have happened if, but all I know it was worth taking the risk.

I stuck with safe options because I thought nothing would ever go wrong. My perspective changed when I met my now best friend.

Her personality is exact opposite of mine. She is spontaneous, cheerful, extroverted and has very little regrets in life. In one of our deep conversation sessions she said one thing that stuck with me “we take decisions thinking they are right, wanting them to be right but  it’s beyond our control to have predicted the end result” A weight was lifted off my chest. All my life I was obsessed with being perfect, waiting for the perfect moment to do stuff so that nothing goes wrong. But what I didn’t realize was that, even safe options fail so might as well take that risk.

Now I know that there’s a whole world with endless possibilities waiting for me, there’s so much I haven’t seen or experienced, great cities, their culture, art, food, music and yes of course people. Maybe I’ll meet a lot of interesting ones who’ll completely change my perspective on certain matters, some of them may become life lessons and perhaps a few of them will stay in my life forever. 

You might think that these are just things I hope and wish would happen. Well life is anything but predictable that doesn’t mean we can’t hope for a better tomorrow, after all, hopes and dreams are what keeps us going.

It’s just one life, just one, so make sure it’s an epic one.