Tag: adulting

The windows

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

It was a lazy evening, I was sitting in my balcony with a cup of tea. I was very bored from sitting and moving inside the house all day. Also I got tired going through the same 4 apps, honestly going down the internet rabbit hole drains you mentally, I mean there’s so much unwanted info on the internet that you consume. I really need an internet detox.

Anyways continuing the balcony incident (just got carried away lol) so opposite to my house there’s this apartment complex, it’s not very close but close enough to see their windows and balconies. (Okay so I am no peeping Tom alright, I love observing)

As I was sipping my tea, I saw two kids (siblings I guess) were aggressively swinging on a rope tied on to the roof of their balcony, to say that they were mischievous would be the least. They were going about it for a solid 10-15 mins, that’s when their mother comes yelling from kitchen and takes them inside the house and slams the door shut. This was quite amusing.

That’s when I realized, every window there had a story. Next to those kid’s balcony I saw a cute couple taking pictures of the sunset and simply enjoying each other’s company. On the other I saw an old grandpa reading something with full concentration(he was really into it), and a grandma appeared from behind him and simply placed the tea cup on his arm rest. No words exchanged, they were so used to each other’s presence I could see it.

Every home has a story, what you see through these windows is just a glimpse of it. Some windows are aesthetically decorated, some are simple and plain, while some are filled with potted plants. All this says something about the people who live within.

Windows are beautiful isn’t it, even though every house in that apartment complex are identical architecturally, each an everyone of them has a unique story. And windows share a glimpse of it.

I miss her so much..

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

I wish she was there with me today, I wish she got to see me grow up, I wish she was her right now, so I could tell her “Grandma I got the job, I am big girl now”

Growing up I had amazing relationship with my grandparents, especially my grandma. She was the sweetest person I knew. My friends who have met her fell in love with her sweet and kind personality.

These days I miss her way too much. Grandma has always been the one I went to for advice on anything and everything. I could talk to her without any fear, it just felt natural telling her all my problems. I miss those days when life was simple, coming back home from school to see mom and Grandma wait for me and I’d rant all that happened throughout the day.

Now that I think about it, I can’t really figure out when did things get so complicated. I mean it seems like yesterday when didn’t wake up in the morning not being anxious about how my day would be. I didn’t have think about consequences of decisions, no no wait I didn’t even have to take decisions ( those good old days)

I loved evenings those days when my grandma sat me down with chai (tea) in her hand and read me stories from books, we spoke about her childhood, school life, life as a mom etc and also helped me with homework. These days I am busy with assignments and test preparations in the evenings, I go to bed early because I have to wake up early for college. (Monotonous routine)

I wish she was here to greet me with her infectious smile when I was having a rough day at college, I wish she was here to see me graduate, get a job, start a life. I wish she was here to guide me. But she’s not

Grandma may not be here today but I am pretty sure her prayers are still protecting me today.

The closure I needed but never got

Published on by Anamika5 Comments

I was going through some of the old chats in my phone and I realized I haven’t been in touch with my high school friends for months now. We used to be inseparable in school. We did everything together, learned about new stuff, great experiences, went through puberty, being each other’s cheerleaders, I mean we’ve been through a lot of shit together. But now even starting a conversation with them is a little awkward.

I get it that we chose different paths after school, but I always pictured us to maintain the BFF (Best Friends Forever) bond that we always bragged about.

I don’t know if it’s relatable but it really hurts to see people that were once so important to me, doing just fine without me. It made me question my worth, like am I that replaceable?

It took me a while to adjust in college, meeting new people & socializing just fueled my social anxiety. As you get older, making friends becomes significantly difficult at least that was my experience.

While I was struggling in college, my friend’s instagram stories made it worse and I felt left out. Well I’ll admit I was being childish and was most certainly projecting my fears. But these rational thoughts didn’t help me feel any better.

I was happy for them, but I feared that we’d drift apart. And my fears came true. In the beginning we’d update about our respective lives on our group chat, gradually it started to reduce, we’d text regularly but not as much. We planned to meet at least once in 2 months since we are in the same city, well that reduced to meeting on each other’s birthday.

Well now we don’t really meet on birthdays either, but do text each other sometimes.

I have accepted that this is life, it’s about my journey. I am grateful that I met them, things they taught me, the memories we made. All that helped me evolve as a person.

But it also taught me that relationships have to flow naturally, I cannot hold on to something just because we have history. They were a part of my childhood, it was beautiful but then we grew up and that’s how it is.

There’s no love lost though, even if we aren’t in contact as much I still do love them but I have to let go.

Starting afresh

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

Honestly I started this blog as a personal dairy where I’d share my thoughts, experiences and just life things in general. I’ve always loved reading personal blogs where a person writes about their day, their jobs and such stuff. Some people might find it boring and mundane but I for one love it.

It’s a form of escapism I guess where I am trying to forget my problems.

I suffer from anxiety and I wanted to share my stories here without the fear of being judged, but instead I became even more conscious about my blog posts. I kept on re-reading them again and again just to make sure I don’t make a fool out of myself, tried to make them as perfect as possible finding the perfect picture for the blog and never being satisfied with the title. All this became exhausting and it started to feel like my school assignments which I hated btw.

This is how I have been living my whole life. I take things way too seriously and never actually enjoy anything.

I love to write because I can express my self better in writing than oral communication, but because I was stressing about my posts being perfect, it just sucked the fun out of it. So I started procrastinating in order to avoid it. That made me feel even worse

#Millenniallifecrisis is my inspiration, she’s funny, sarcastic and intelligent. I love to read her posts, it’s so personal and her stories are really entertaining.

I’ve just started blogging I don’t know a lot about it. I want to write about things that make me happy and not force my self to write about certain topics just to get views.

One thing I can tell for sure is that I am going to keep this blog simple and raw. I am going to talk about how I survived my college years with general anxiety and social anxiety. Things I learned about people, friendships and lot more.

Also I am a sucker for good artwork be it movies, books or music videos, so you can expect one or two appreciation posts.

I hope you guys would want to be a part of this journey with me. If yes please do follow me and press that like button, its always nice to get some validation 🙂

Okay so that’s it for now, hope to see you for my next post, byeee ❤

About me

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

I am just another accidental adult navigating through this maze of life. A little overwhelmed with all the newly added responsibilities and a new job, but nonetheless enjoying the process of starting a new life.

Although not great at conversations, I love listening to people their unique stories and experiences. Some of these experiences become life lessons for me and sometimes it’s comforting to know that I am not alone.

Art has a special place in my heart, be it painting, theater, books or music. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that they add meaning to my existence.

I am on a journey of discovering myself,  accepting my flaws and not being insecure about it. I am also hoping somewhere in this journey I find a passion that will consume my soul.