Tag: philosophy

Binge watched ‘Storytime’ on YouTube till 4 a.m

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

A few nights ago I was binge watching storytimes on YouTube. You know the one were people talk about the crazy shit that has happened to them. I watched stories of crazy neighbors, weird roommates, criminal neighbors ,vengeful ex. You name it I have seen it lol.

Some of them were fake and I knew it, but most of them were legit, because they have live footage of it happening.

My favorite one’s are that of crazy neighbors, seriously after watching those storytimes I am actually grateful for having unproblematic neighbors.

So the story that kept me all night is of a YouTuber Tara Michelle. It wasn’t one video but a series of videos where she’s talking about her crazy neighbor, at first it sounds too absurd to be true. I mean it literally feels like reality tv show type thing. But as I saw more videos with live footage, I was shocked like this is real life.

I find it straight up crazy that people have dealt some weird movie type shit in life and just watching them talk about it feels like I am involved somehow.

What makes these videos so popular is that it creates this emotional connection between the creator and the viewers. While some viewers might relate others are exposed to a new experience. It feels like you are catching up with a long lost friend on her life.

I really miss chatting with my girls after our college hours. We’d simply sit at the canteen eating and just talking things that are going on in our lives. But now due to Corona everyone has pretty much the same routine and nothing new. So these videos distract me from my monotonous routine I guess.

I mean at the end of the day who doesn’t like a little story time.

Starting afresh

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

Honestly I started this blog as a personal dairy where I’d share my thoughts, experiences and just life things in general. I’ve always loved reading personal blogs where a person writes about their day, their jobs and such stuff. Some people might find it boring and mundane but I for one love it.

It’s a form of escapism I guess where I am trying to forget my problems.

I suffer from anxiety and I wanted to share my stories here without the fear of being judged, but instead I became even more conscious about my blog posts. I kept on re-reading them again and again just to make sure I don’t make a fool out of myself, tried to make them as perfect as possible finding the perfect picture for the blog and never being satisfied with the title. All this became exhausting and it started to feel like my school assignments which I hated btw.

This is how I have been living my whole life. I take things way too seriously and never actually enjoy anything.

I love to write because I can express my self better in writing than oral communication, but because I was stressing about my posts being perfect, it just sucked the fun out of it. So I started procrastinating in order to avoid it. That made me feel even worse

#Millenniallifecrisis is my inspiration, she’s funny, sarcastic and intelligent. I love to read her posts, it’s so personal and her stories are really entertaining.

I’ve just started blogging I don’t know a lot about it. I want to write about things that make me happy and not force my self to write about certain topics just to get views.

One thing I can tell for sure is that I am going to keep this blog simple and raw. I am going to talk about how I survived my college years with general anxiety and social anxiety. Things I learned about people, friendships and lot more.

Also I am a sucker for good artwork be it movies, books or music videos, so you can expect one or two appreciation posts.

I hope you guys would want to be a part of this journey with me. If yes please do follow me and press that like button, its always nice to get some validation 🙂

Okay so that’s it for now, hope to see you for my next post, byeee ❤

One epic life

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To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist, that is all.
– Oscar wilde

Yeah that’s right, I am one of those ‘most people‘ Oscar Wilde is talking about. I live my dream life in my head but lack the courage to chase after it. Most of you must know at least one person who sticks with the safest route, avoids trying anything new, gets severe anxiety in unfamiliar situations, that’s exactly how I live or rather exist. I’ve never actually lived my life only survived it.

This monotonous routine often makes me depressed and question my existence.I lay in my bed at night regretting every opportunity I missed. Living with regret is the worst feeling ever and to make things worse my brain is constantly churning out ‘what if’ scenarios.

What if I hadn’t backed out from that trip? What if I had appeared for that competitive exam I spent a year preparing for? What if I hadn’t chickened out from a conversation with my crush?  (well that’s an embarrassing story for another time) Ughh! I don’t know what would have happened if, but all I know it was worth taking the risk.

I stuck with safe options because I thought nothing would ever go wrong. My perspective changed when I met my now best friend.

Her personality is exact opposite of mine. She is spontaneous, cheerful, extroverted and has very little regrets in life. In one of our deep conversation sessions she said one thing that stuck with me “we take decisions thinking they are right, wanting them to be right but  it’s beyond our control to have predicted the end result” A weight was lifted off my chest. All my life I was obsessed with being perfect, waiting for the perfect moment to do stuff so that nothing goes wrong. But what I didn’t realize was that, even safe options fail so might as well take that risk.

Now I know that there’s a whole world with endless possibilities waiting for me, there’s so much I haven’t seen or experienced, great cities, their culture, art, food, music and yes of course people. Maybe I’ll meet a lot of interesting ones who’ll completely change my perspective on certain matters, some of them may become life lessons and perhaps a few of them will stay in my life forever. 

You might think that these are just things I hope and wish would happen. Well life is anything but predictable that doesn’t mean we can’t hope for a better tomorrow, after all, hopes and dreams are what keeps us going.

It’s just one life, just one, so make sure it’s an epic one.

Finding the calm in the chaos

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Credits: Unsplash

If you have watched the sky just minutes before sunset, then we can agree without a doubt that it is the epitome of beauty. Being in the presence of one of nature’s masterpieces, has helped in calming my anxious mind. I can’t stop but admire the beautiful mix of colours lighting up the sky.

I’ve always enjoyed simply sitting back and observing, people going about their lives, animals doing their thing, birds flying ever so high with not a care in the world and the glorious sunset. Ahh! miss those good old days.

Gradually it became difficult to find time for my favorite pastime. Life just got busy, and I didn’t even realize it. Traveling to and fro from university would be the only time I was free, but traveling in crowded bus didn’t really help.

This pandemic struck the world out of the blue and just like that there was so much uncertainty everywhere. I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen next and let’s just say my anxiety went from bad to worse. Having  dealt with anxiety on a daily basis, I realized that it really helps to have a proper plan about anything and everything.
But now those plans have become impractical. All of a sudden I have too much free time and not much to do.

That’s when I rediscovered my favorite old hobby. Every evening I would go onto the terrace and watch how the sky would explode into beautiful shades of colours just minutes before the sunset, birds flying back to their nests, few people walking their dogs, roads being almost deserted, trees casually swaying with the wind and and above all there was this alluring silence. Something I haven’t felt in ages, silence. We live in a world that is constantly in motion. So naturally I  became accustomed to the constant chaos around me. All this definitely took a toll on my mental health and unkowningly I left it unchecked all this while. Ultimately it lead to a burnout.

One good thing that came out of this quarantine is that I learnt my lesson, it’s very important to take a break from this busy lives that we lead, recharge our mental as well as emotional health, because at the end of the day we are humans and not robots. The irony is that it took a pandemic for me to focus on my mental health.

About me

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

I am just another accidental adult navigating through this maze of life. A little overwhelmed with all the newly added responsibilities and a new job, but nonetheless enjoying the process of starting a new life.

Although not great at conversations, I love listening to people their unique stories and experiences. Some of these experiences become life lessons for me and sometimes it’s comforting to know that I am not alone.

Art has a special place in my heart, be it painting, theater, books or music. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that they add meaning to my existence.

I am on a journey of discovering myself,  accepting my flaws and not being insecure about it. I am also hoping somewhere in this journey I find a passion that will consume my soul.