Tag: writing

Silence Secrets and Shadows

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment
Who is she, a question I can’t seem to find an answer to. Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t know her. As a matter of fact her and I have been in this silent, very one sided relationship for almost three years now. However, do I truly know her? Her name, home, and birthday remain a mystery to me. Maybe our connection is merely based on the comfort of familiarity and nothing more. There’s pain written all over that little face of hers, but from the looks of it she’s going to take it to the grave with her. All I’ve ever wanted is to take some of her pain and swallow it, just to see her smile. Comfort her I never could, but she stood with me like an anchor when I went through hell and back. She saw me go from a fragile little girl to this thick skinned woman that I am today. All I ask is for her to let me in, just once. As I stand there with my heart aching for her, I feel a drop of tear roll down my cheek. Memories rush through my mind with the speed of light. Then, like a powerful train, it hits me. I finally realize who she is. It is ME. They say mirrors don’t lie, but I am not convinced. These mirrors are deceitful little creatures, and the image that reflects from it is not me, it could never be. Standing in front of these deceitful little creatures I feel all of my hopes dreams and desires gliding down my cheeks. How, when , why ? words that haunt my sleep deprived self. – Resh

I miss her so much..

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

I wish she was there with me today, I wish she got to see me grow up, I wish she was her right now, so I could tell her “Grandma I got the job, I am big girl now”

Growing up I had amazing relationship with my grandparents, especially my grandma. She was the sweetest person I knew. My friends who have met her fell in love with her sweet and kind personality.

These days I miss her way too much. Grandma has always been the one I went to for advice on anything and everything. I could talk to her without any fear, it just felt natural telling her all my problems. I miss those days when life was simple, coming back home from school to see mom and Grandma wait for me and I’d rant all that happened throughout the day.

Now that I think about it, I can’t really figure out when did things get so complicated. I mean it seems like yesterday when didn’t wake up in the morning not being anxious about how my day would be. I didn’t have think about consequences of decisions, no no wait I didn’t even have to take decisions ( those good old days)

I loved evenings those days when my grandma sat me down with chai (tea) in her hand and read me stories from books, we spoke about her childhood, school life, life as a mom etc and also helped me with homework. These days I am busy with assignments and test preparations in the evenings, I go to bed early because I have to wake up early for college. (Monotonous routine)

I wish she was here to greet me with her infectious smile when I was having a rough day at college, I wish she was here to see me graduate, get a job, start a life. I wish she was here to guide me. But she’s not

Grandma may not be here today but I am pretty sure her prayers are still protecting me today.

Binge watched ‘Storytime’ on YouTube till 4 a.m

Published on by AnamikaLeave a comment

A few nights ago I was binge watching storytimes on YouTube. You know the one were people talk about the crazy shit that has happened to them. I watched stories of crazy neighbors, weird roommates, criminal neighbors ,vengeful ex. You name it I have seen it lol.

Some of them were fake and I knew it, but most of them were legit, because they have live footage of it happening.

My favorite one’s are that of crazy neighbors, seriously after watching those storytimes I am actually grateful for having unproblematic neighbors.

So the story that kept me all night is of a YouTuber Tara Michelle. It wasn’t one video but a series of videos where she’s talking about her crazy neighbor, at first it sounds too absurd to be true. I mean it literally feels like reality tv show type thing. But as I saw more videos with live footage, I was shocked like this is real life.

I find it straight up crazy that people have dealt some weird movie type shit in life and just watching them talk about it feels like I am involved somehow.

What makes these videos so popular is that it creates this emotional connection between the creator and the viewers. While some viewers might relate others are exposed to a new experience. It feels like you are catching up with a long lost friend on her life.

I really miss chatting with my girls after our college hours. We’d simply sit at the canteen eating and just talking things that are going on in our lives. But now due to Corona everyone has pretty much the same routine and nothing new. So these videos distract me from my monotonous routine I guess.

I mean at the end of the day who doesn’t like a little story time.

About me

Published on by Anamika2 Comments

I am just another accidental adult navigating through this maze of life. A little overwhelmed with all the newly added responsibilities and a new job, but nonetheless enjoying the process of starting a new life.

Although not great at conversations, I love listening to people their unique stories and experiences. Some of these experiences become life lessons for me and sometimes it’s comforting to know that I am not alone.

Art has a special place in my heart, be it painting, theater, books or music. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that they add meaning to my existence.

I am on a journey of discovering myself,  accepting my flaws and not being insecure about it. I am also hoping somewhere in this journey I find a passion that will consume my soul.